Well if this doesn't sum up how I feel on a daily basis. My number one goal is to not have people at work as me what is wrong because I am limping or crying in the corner somewhere!
Monday, November 14, 2016
Just a good quote...
Well if this doesn't sum up how I feel on a daily basis. My number one goal is to not have people at work as me what is wrong because I am limping or crying in the corner somewhere!
Saturday, November 12, 2016
Rollercoaster
The first step to overcoming your problem is admitting you have one. Well that is what they say at least. What if admitting you have a problem is never going to help you overcome it? What if the problem isn't solvable?
That is where I find myself right now. I haven't told very many people about my Psoriatic Arthritis diagnosis yet. I feel if I hold on to this "secret" of mine for a little longer it will eventually just go away. Maybe they won't notice? Maybe it could just stay a little secret inside and eventually be buried so deep I don't even remember? What a fantasy world I am living in!!! I know I have to eventually tell people and admit that I need help. I feel that day is coming sooner than I would like.
Living with a disease that in all encompassing on the inside, but invisible on the outside can make someone frustrated.
I find myself longing for the things I used to be able to do. Even simple tasks like washing dishes has become a very hard task for me. I just want to be able to wake up and do things like normal. Today I went to the store with my 16 month old and 10 year old. We just had to get a couple things. It took everything out of me. I am exhausted and had to leave before we were even finished. At the store today, I need to get a pair of shoes for my 16 month old and I couldn't even get the shoes on his feet because my hands were cramping so bad. I had to sit down and take a break. Are you kidding me?!?! Take a break just to put shoes on a baby? I keep thinking I will wake up and this will all be a bad dream.
I have my good days too. I don't want to only focus on the negative (which seems to be a little easier than the positive lately). I picked out a coloring book and gels pens for my 10 year old and I to do together. I wanted to pick something that didn't take a lot of energy and something she enjoyed. We are actually having fun with it. We are currently coloring a super weird cat picture. We can't wait to see the end result!
So I will continue to focus on the positive and try to have more good days than bad. The medicine seems to help a little with the inflammation, but the side effects are pretty intense. I know I will eventually get used to it! I have no choice right?
That is where I find myself right now. I haven't told very many people about my Psoriatic Arthritis diagnosis yet. I feel if I hold on to this "secret" of mine for a little longer it will eventually just go away. Maybe they won't notice? Maybe it could just stay a little secret inside and eventually be buried so deep I don't even remember? What a fantasy world I am living in!!! I know I have to eventually tell people and admit that I need help. I feel that day is coming sooner than I would like.
Living with a disease that in all encompassing on the inside, but invisible on the outside can make someone frustrated.
I find myself longing for the things I used to be able to do. Even simple tasks like washing dishes has become a very hard task for me. I just want to be able to wake up and do things like normal. Today I went to the store with my 16 month old and 10 year old. We just had to get a couple things. It took everything out of me. I am exhausted and had to leave before we were even finished. At the store today, I need to get a pair of shoes for my 16 month old and I couldn't even get the shoes on his feet because my hands were cramping so bad. I had to sit down and take a break. Are you kidding me?!?! Take a break just to put shoes on a baby? I keep thinking I will wake up and this will all be a bad dream.
I have my good days too. I don't want to only focus on the negative (which seems to be a little easier than the positive lately). I picked out a coloring book and gels pens for my 10 year old and I to do together. I wanted to pick something that didn't take a lot of energy and something she enjoyed. We are actually having fun with it. We are currently coloring a super weird cat picture. We can't wait to see the end result!
So I will continue to focus on the positive and try to have more good days than bad. The medicine seems to help a little with the inflammation, but the side effects are pretty intense. I know I will eventually get used to it! I have no choice right?
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